Assertiveness Training: Stop People Pleasing, Feeling Guilty, and Caring for What Others Think, and Start Speaking Up, Saying No, and Being More Confident (Practical Emotional Intelligence Book 9) by James W. Williams

Author:James W. Williams [W. Williams, James]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2020-07-06T00:00:00+00:00

Establish Personal Space

Admit it, having someone encroach on your personal space makes you feel uncomfortable. It’s as if they’re trying to dominate you or stake a claim against something you own. Note that the opposite also holds true—staking claim on your personal space can go a long way into making you appear more assertive. It basically sends the message that you are in charge and capable of handling any issues that occur in your territory.

So what should you do? You establish personal space and maintain it. In a previous chapter, we talked about physical boundaries, and this is somewhat related. You want to lay claim to a particular territory, depending on each situation. Typically, personal space covers the area immediately around you. Try standing up and extending your arm outwards. This is the perfect radius for you to claim space. If you notice, this is typically how far apart perfect strangers stand against each other when occupying the same small space, like an elevator.

Of course, this rule isn’t absolute. Different customs and cultures can change this physical boundary. Friends, family members, and partners may also occupy a different personal space as opposed to a coworker. For example, you have no problem sitting shoulder-to-shoulder with your spouse as opposed to your boss.

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